We met in Dixons
Whoever first claimed that a dog was man’s best friend was quite simply wrong. Or, to give them the benefit of the doubt, they had never experienced the kind of relationship which I will attempt to detail for you now.
Believe it or not, I first met her in my local branch of Dixons, while I was looking for a new television. It was just a matter of weeks later that I had developed an infatuation with her. I knew she felt the same.
I’ll never forget the moment on that first day when I romantically carried her up to my room. I only managed to get her as far as my desk; I knew I had to have her there. I instantly seemed to know all the right buttons to press to turn her on. That first night, she hardly got any rest - if you know what I mean. Ever since then, I often find myself just lying on the bed- gazing at her; she actually seems to enjoy being watched.
Since she’s arrived in my life, for whatever reason, I seem to have the neighbours round on an almost daily basis… they’re usually there when I get in from work. That’s not the only change, I now seem to be surrounded by all kinds of soaps- even more than you’d chance upon in the Body Shop! To give her credit, the house is a lot cleaner, and she’s given me some good advice about what I should do with all the junk in my attic (I followed her suggestions, and absolutely cleaned up at my local car boot). I best also mention, that’s she’s really helped my career; she was the one that got me looking into that apprenticeship- one of the best decisions of my life. She’s also encouraged me to take more of an interest in current affairs than I used to, and I now try and catch the news most days.
It wasn’t long before she was in control; telling me where we should buy a new house, and how it should be decorated. Unsurprisingly, she was also in charge of what was planted in the garden. Naturally, I’ve let her tell me what I should eat, and she’s given me lessons in how to cook- as you’d expect, she really knows what she’s doing in the kitchen. I’ve also let her have free rein where my wardrobe is concerned, and she tells me what I shouldn’t be wearing; I once went out and changed my entire wardrobe on her recommendation! She says she wants to try to make me look 10 years younger!
Surprisingly enough, she lets me choose what I watch, as she’s very fickle in that respect- always changing between the channels. Without doubt though she loves her programmes, and was delighted when I brought home a Freeview box- it gave her a much bigger variety of stations. When Big Brother is on, with her around, there’s no chance of getting away from it- it seems to be on non-stop at times! As you can see she’s quite demanding, once when the picture wasn’t perfect, she soon had me up on the roof adjusting the aerial! As for the time I forgot to pay the electricity bill, she didn’t talk to me for a week!
My friends think she’s a bit temperamental, and think I should look for an upgrade. Sometimes when they’re around, she seems disinterested- it’s almost like she’s switched off. They do say love is blind, but I can assure you, I’m not oblivious to her faults. At times I can see that she’s dictating my life, but a little guidance never hurt anyone. So, she may not be perfect, but she’s the best TV I’ve ever owned.
